Fixin' To Die Rag

February 3, 2012

So, why the rather bleak title of this blog? I suppose part of it is the dark humor I have always been somewhat inclined towards. The other part that makes it into my consciousness is its connection to Vietnam, and how Vietnam evidently ties into my cancer. I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma in 2008, that after spending a couple of years being treated for a renal function disorder. It turned out that the kidney problem was simply one of the "multiples".

This is my second cancer, the first was Non-Hodgkinson Lymphoma back in 1991. Both of these cancers are linked to Agent Orange, and being a Vietnam vet (1968-69, 524thMID (CI) QNFO) I am now a Disabled American Veteran (DAV) and on 100% disability. Yeah, it sucks, but the pay is good.

I was first on Revlimid (a direct relation to the drug thalidomide!) back in 2008 and it worked for a couple of years. This last Spring tests indicated that my numbers were climbing back up and we gave it another shot of the Revlimid over the Summer, but it failed to affect any significant change so in November I started IV chemo (Revlimid was in pill form) with Valcade. After three sessions the abnormal blood cell count was down, but the protein spillage number was up. Also I was experiencing some breathlessness and fatigue. The bad protein, amyloid, has been effecting my kidney for some time now, evidenced by edema in my lower extremities. Amyloidosis can deposit itself in a number of places in the body and will cause them to eventually shut down. Having read up on it, I was therefore not surprised yesterday by my visit to Dr. Cavelleri, the cardiologist, in Spokane. He just made it official: un-reversible protein deposits in my heart. There are no treatments at this time to turn around the damage already done, and what has to happen is that the we need to impact the myeloma and stop it from turning out the mutated cells. In the next week or so my Oncologist will recommend going back on one chemo or another, or will be looking a stem cell replacement procedure. We'll cross that bridge at that time.

So, that is the short summary of why I will be writing this blog. This cancer is a terminal disease and I want to write about this journey I am on. However, I want you to understand that, although my path is unique, it is your path as well; we all come to the same point eventually. Perhaps my experience will help others on their own journey through life.

I will warn you that I can be rather wordy and long winded. Also, I will throw in my philosophical beliefs, which are largely influenced by Buddhism. While I do attend the Spokane Buddhist Church on occasion, I am not real good at "religion", but I do feel that what under lies most religious thought are basic philosophical agreements that we can all use in our lives.

I am going to write this, for the time being, without spreading the word that it is out in the blogosphere. If people find it, OK. When the time is right, I will let my family, friends and others know it is here.

Thanks for your interest. David